


It's not my fault

by Tobsana



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Confrontations, I've beeen working on it for some time, Kindaichi is there too, Little by little, M/M, One Shot, a fic inspired by a song, a little fight, alot of cuss words, just a little though, just friends being not friends, kunikage, no real romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-10
Updated: 2017-12-10
Packaged: 2019-02-12 22:28:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12969750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tobsana/pseuds/Tobsana
Summary: They had no say in it. They weren't friends with him from the start. They didn't know them like they knew one another.So why, so why is everyone listening to them? Why is no one understanding him?Kunimi believes that no one has a right to butt in, has no right to share their thoughts. It was between Kunimi and Kageyama....So no one, had the right to blame him.





	It's not my fault

They say that they traumatized him, that they broke him. Made him into something that made another man pity him. There were people who took sides once they went their separate ways. There are people now, thinking they have a say into something that didn’t concern them.

They were the bad guys, simply because they folded their wings and stayed silent, as one of the birds flew on its own.

They argued amongst one another, continuously but even then, it still could not get through Kageyama’s head.

Kunimi had noticed how Kindaichi had dwelled in the past. Rethinking his actions, wondering if it could have been different, wondering if there was some way that could have avoided this entire conflict.

Puffing out a large breath of air, visible in the chilly afternoon, Kunimi paces faster to catch up to Kindaichi. A gush of wind blows through his air and it makes him flinch, but he continues on, chin buried in his blue scarf he tells his closest friend, “you are way too hung up over what happened in middle school. You did your best back then, didn’t you?”

Kindaichi’s eyes glow for a second, but they dull just as quick. “I did, but that idiot always made me feel like I wasn’t. Like, there was so much more I could have done. I could asked Iwaizumi-senpai for pointers, I could have stayed behind for more practice, I could have jumped higher, quicker, I could have…done so much more.” He shies away from Kunimi’s glare, trying his best to understand his own emotions to better tell Kunimi what he had meant.

But Kunimi only clicks in his tongue in annoyance, hands stuffed into his jackets pockets he walks off, there is no energy left in Kindaichi to stop his friend. He simply watches the male walk off, a little hunched forward.

“Kunimi,” he calls out, hoping that he could hear him from a far distance, “Do you ever think what we did to him, was really that horrible?”

There was no answer back, Kunimi’s retreating form continues to walk away from Kindaichi.

-0-

He takes a certain path back home, a left, a right, straight for a few streets then another left. There are homes he had to get used to seeing during his first year at Aoba Johsai, kids and grandmothers he had to remember to say his greetings.

He had to forgot the other path, the one he took with Kageyama, where the nice old lady had given them blueberry treats. Even once made some salted caramels for Kunimi.

He had to forget the little boy who got his soccer ball stolen, and how he had to be the one to go get it back. While Kageyama stepped back and tried to cheer the little boy up.

It was out of character for the both of them.

“Fuck.” Kunimi laughs halfheartedly, whispering under his breath. His half-lidded glare wasn’t directed to anyone, but there was a small tug at his heart, something he could not easily ignore.

It wasn’t, it really wasn’t so out of character. It was who they were, since they were young. Always so reluctant but helpful.

What they are now, was out of character.

“Kunimi-chan!”

His thoughts were quickly interrupted by a low, yet feminine voice. It sounded fragile and all to familiar. He gulps, finally understanding why he was remembering everything, he wants to laugh at himself, how stupid he was to walk right into the path he used to take with Kageyama.

Looking up, his stare softens at the old woman approaching him. Her arms were folded behind her, her wrinkles for defined, and her once clear brown eyes were finally turning a shade down. Her pace was slow, yet Kunimi did not feel annoyed, but he knew, he just knew.

That this is the right time Kageyama will appear.

“It’s been such a long time Kunimi-chan!” the old woman finally is close enough for her not to yell, despite that she does anyways, always so bright and cheerful.

He bows only his head, and only in such a high angle. “My apologizes, I recently found a new path that’s a quicker to my school.”

“Ah, but Kageyama-kun still walks this way?” her confusion sounds forced, as if she already knew of the situation.

Nonetheless he informs her that they went to different schools now.

“How unfortune,” she mummers, “Kageyama has been walking this path with such a solemn face, but lately he had a smile on his face every time he comes back from school.” Her eye twinkles, as she looks past Kunimi she finishes off saying, “I think with you going off to such an elite school, he had lost his closest friend.”

Ah, see there it was. She already exposed herself, Kunimi never mentioned which school he was attending. Nor that he and Kunimi were no longer on speaking terms.

“Some things are inevitable ma’am,” he looks away from her, trying to avoid her stare. For some odd reason, it feels as though she was blaming him for the separation. As if it was Kunimi that ended their long-term relationship.

She whispers quietly to him before he even gets the chance to excuse himself, in a low serious tone. “He comes by here at this very time, how about you wait for him hm?” she hums like it’s a question, but he knows she’s pleading him, “Try to fix this my boy.”

He glares, but not directly at the old woman who pins him with her stare, he grits his teeth, trying his best not to frown more than he is now. There’s a flash of hurt in his eyes, but it quickly goes away when he hears footsteps stop behind him.

His back straightens a bit, and the old woman smiles again, looking right behind the taller male she greets Kageyama with her eyes only. “Look who it is!” she squeals excitedly, “It’s Kunimi-chan!” She doesn’t move from her spot, not allowing Kunimi to move forward without hurting her.

He turns around, slowly and not for dramatic effect. More to show how unwilling he was. To show that he really did not want to even look at Kageyama.

He’s wearing his all black track suit, Karasuno’s signature color.

Even his shoes, black. He thinks its away to remember Oikawa by. To remember there is no one he wants to beat more than Oikawa. There was nothing as scarier as Oikawa. So whenever he did look down, maybe in defeat or in fear, he’ll see his shoes, and remember that there is one man, he dreams of succeeding.

Kunimi can tell that Kageyama is looking at him. But the other couldn’t even lift his chin. He feels embarrassed to be caught here, to be seen by the one guy he didn’t, couldn’t stand any more.

Fuck, when did it become like this?

When was he so scared to be alone with him?

Whenever he was with Kindaichi he had his chin held up high in pride. He had Kindaichi’s back, and supported them. Maybe it was to show that they were friends, to show Kageyama that this was what friends were.

Eyes widening in realization, Kunimi slowly lifts his head. Looking directly, and fiercely at Kageyama. He couldn’t look like he wasn’t fine alone. He was, he was okay and perfect without anyone by his side. He didn’t need anyone to look like he’s okay. Not like how Kageyama needed him, nor like how Kindaichi found haven in Kunimi.

No, he was fine. Without anyone, he was just as fine as he was with anyone else.

Kageyama’s eyes were blue and around, they looked at Kunimi just the same way he looked at him when they were children. The ever-curious stare, so surprised and so genuinely interested. The stare he only gives when he’s truly taken back. It looks like he’s looking for answers though, as if he was trying to find a reason on why Kunimi was there.

As if he could have that answer in his mind.

Kunimi wants to scoff, but it a rude fashion way. But he knows he can’t, because then it would look like he was the bad guy.

And he wasn’t, fuck why can’t anyone understand that?

There’s a sting, somewhere in his chest, something he ignores so he doesn’t bother pinpointing where it came from.

It’s not awkward when no one talks. It’s not tension when they only stare.

The two just didn’t know, what to say.

So Kunimi walks, forward the same path he used to take back from Kitagawa to home. Kageyama hesitantly walks behind him, slowly he catches up, but he leaves a few steps between them.

There silent for half the walk, and Kunimi is glad, because if he says one thing. If Kageyama so much starts to talk, he thinks he’ll lose it.

He really does, so he’s surprised that the boy, who has now closed the space between them, starts to speak to say something, and he does nothing but turn towards the slightly smaller male’s direction and listens.

“I,” he starts, but he closes his mouth quickly. His eyes are still wide, and not all like that competitive glare. Not at all like that fierce stare filled with frustration, it was just wide and curious. His blue eyes still the darkest he ever has seen.

“There’s a lot of mistakes that I made.”

Fuck, Kunimi rolls his eyes. Looking ahead of himself. He doesn’t want to hear about this. He doesn’t, so he starts to walk faster, they’re half way home, yet close enough for him to get there under a few minutes.

But Kageyama doesn’t give up, his legs, just as long catches up easily, not missing a step he continues to tell Kunimi about his emotions, his feelings, his ideas, his thoughts about the past. But Kageyama doesn’t miss Kunimi’s frustrated sigh, doesn’t miss how he roles his eyes and continues forward in a quicker pace.

He doesn’t shut up, he forces himself to talk, despite knowing that Kunimi doesn’t want to hear it. He knows he doesn’t want to hear it, he doesn’t want to face whatever they’re about to talk about because of reason Kageyama doesn’t know, but he will, he will hear it now.

“I got through it!” he yells, and when he does he stops abruptly, staring at Kunimi’s face. The taller male continues to walk, ignoring him. But Kageyama yells it out again, “I got through it! At the hardest time, I got through it on my own.”

Kunimi flinches, his teeth grits as he clenches his fist in the Aoba Johsai’s athletic jacket. “I know, I know I made a lot of mistakes Kunimi.” Hearing his name in Kageyama’s lips again hurts. It hurts so goddamn much.

“In Karasuno I learned, along the way that I am strong, that I am not a dictator king.” Kageyama’s thoughts flashes back to his teammates, all of them in line smiling at him with an exception of Tsukishima, but the way his eyes shine, it’s something that gives Kageyama the confidence to feel as though he can rely on him.

Kunimi stops as soon as hears the word king slips out of the male’s mouth. His entire body turns rigid as he Kageyama continues to talk, “I am strong as hell, and even more when I am with my team!” Kunimi flinches at his words, but he still doesn’t look back. “I remember that day, every single goddamn day.” Kageyama’s voice starts to sound like it’s going to break.

“I remember it so many times, in a way that I can’t even remember what happiness in a team felt like.” He pauses, his fingers grip on to the fabric of his black jacket, right here a constricting pain feels. “But I got through, I got through and it still stings a little, but it’s okay because I got through.” He quiet downs, and Kunimi isn’t even sure if there’s more to what he has to say.

So he opens his mouth.

Looking up at the sky, he can’t even remember when the sun’s peak has disappeared. The afterglow of it around them made Kunimi feel like everything that was happening now was surreal.

“What’s your point?” it looks like he was asking the sky. The corners of his eyes had darken, a detail that made him look seriously ill, exhausted and frustrated all the same.

Kageyama looks up from his hand clutching his jacket, surprised that Kunimi had stopped to ask. But he doesn’t lose the opportunity “What you did hurt me a lot Kunimi, you and Kindaichi the entire team! Karasuno, my team made me realize that your approach wasn’t the correct one. What you did, scarred me.”

“So, you think you’re the only fucking victim!” Kunimi yells, his attention now at Kageyama. He takes a step forward and then another and another until he’s finally there in front of Kageyama with no space between them.

“Your teammates, they don’t have a fucking say in this.” Kunimi growls, glaring down at Kageyama. The younger male’s round eyes soon too, turn sharp as he glares at his ex-teammate.

“They’re my team, they,”

“They don’t,” Kunimi quickly interrupts him. “They don’t understand what shit you put us through. They didn’t see or feel or fuck!” Kunimi throws his hands up in the air. “They weren’t your friends Kageyama! They weren’t screamed and yelled out by their one and only best friend!”

“They don’t understand how Kindaichi feels, they can’t even comprehend how I felt! I was your best friend! But you kept pushing it Kageyama, hitting all the wrong buttons, you kept shoving and shoving that everything I did with you felt like shit! Felt like some toxic drug!” Kunimi turns away, stepping away from Kageyama as he was terrified of being so close to him again.

“It’s like everyone outside of this,” he pauses, trying to find the right words “this fucking dilemma is making us the bad guys! Like we were the ones who traumatized you!”

Kageyama’s eyes widen as Kunimi turns back to face him, his eye filled with fear and defeat. “Like you didn’t do the same to us. Shit, you weren’t supposed to change Kageyama, you weren’t supposed to change with them, not to a completely different team.” Kunimi calms down, but his voice is cracked and broken.

“You were supposed to change for the better for us. Your friends, the ones who understood you, who knew you from the start!” Kunimi then laughs at his own words, “Shit, but I guess we never did understand you did we? Since we couldn’t change you, we couldn’t wake you up from your crazy superior complex.”

“I wanted to get better, I wanted to be like Oikawa.” Kageyama looks down at his feet, a small grimace appeared at his lips. Eyes down casted.

Kunimi only chuckles softly, still no longer looking at Kageyama, his eyes waver as he looks at the roof of a house he remembers walking past all those years before. “You needed to be better for us. You were our setter, not his competition.”  

“I thought that maybe, if I was just as good as him, our team would’ve been too.” Neither teen has looked at one another since Kunimi had stepped away from him.

“Our team was already good with just you. We didn’t need an Oikawa Kageyama hybrid. Don’t you remember how each time we won a game? Don’t you remember we were already so good?”

There was silence in Kageyama’s end.

Kunimi finally turns to look at the male who still had his eyes trained to the ground. The slightly taller teen look away then, looking now at the concrete gate, surrounded a home, and separating it from the other on it’s side. “You made everything look grey Tobio.”

The younger of the two looks up, hearing his given name after such a long time from his first ever friend gives him an emotion he doesn’t quiet understand.

“Even walking down with you to the school, what used to be pink and orange skies turned into grey sidewalks. Playing volleyball no longer felt like a thrill but a chore. The silence between us each time we walked back home, it was killing me more. Shit, you didn’t sense anything did you? All you could ever think about was how to get better, aren’t I right?” Kunimi quickly looks at Kageyama.

Kageyama doesn’t say anything back.

“All your teammates heard about was us leaving you on the court, all they hear is the fact that we stopped being there because you were too much to handle. But they don’t even know, they don’t even know how quickly you were from a friend, to some guy we didn’t even know.”

Still there was no word from Kageyama.

Kunimi nods his head, he feels as though he said his fill. Turning around, pocketing his hands again he continues to his path once more.

“What you did, leaving me there on the court, is the most horrible thing you could ever do to a setter.” Kageyama says in a calm tone, but his eyes weren’t looking up, his gaze still directed to the ground. “It was a wake-up call, and without it, I don’t think I would have ever changed. I know that I screwed up, I what I said and did was wrong.”

“But,”

“You’re not going to apologize.” Kunimi means to say it as a question, but he already knew the answer.

“Things like this hurts, stuff that happens, just like this entire thing stings a whole bunch.” Kageyama nods his head, agreeing with his own words, “but in the future, like now, it’s going to help me be who I am. So I’m not apologizing for who I was. Even when you think it wasn’t me, it was. And I won’t apologize.”

Kunimi turns his body just too look Kageyama in the eye, “Just like I won’t either.” Turning to face the direction of his home, he continues to walk, turning an unnecessary corner, one that prolongs his walk, but he know Kageyama will take the shorter version. He just couldn’t stand to be near him for a second longer.

He needed to be away.

**Author's Note:**

> Heard the song, Growing Pains by Maria [Mena](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPdX389kLxI). 
> 
> And I had to write this. 
> 
> I love KuniKage, I've already thought of two multi chapter fics for them. I hope after my other works, I'll be supported to write them! 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed this! Leave me a comment or kudo to let me know!


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